Back After Two Years

Someone online tells you “your skin looks like shit” while you’re on your honeymoon in the Maldives... I think somehow that one message became a catalyst for so much change in my life. Listen to find out how that led to one of the biggest decisions of my life: leaving Los Angeles and moving back East to New York while VERY pregnant. I also share something personal that changed how I show up online forever. We talk about why a “new space” can change your mental health, how the idea of a postpartum village affects real-life planning, and what it’s like to commit to a cross-country move 34 weeks pregnant with pets and winter weather waiting on the other side. I get into my full birth story with all the details. We wrap with practical postpartum exercise guidance based on updated postpartum exercise guidelines, plus postpartum hair care, babywearing and motherhood hot takes.

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Music: OH YEAH
Musician: Philip E Morris

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi and welcome back to Hot Girl Pilates. It has been over two years since I last uploaded an episode, and so much has happened. I'm ready to just yap and fill you in on everything. I have some notes. I asked on Instagram yesterday if there were any topics you'd like me to cover specifically and some things that I just really want to yap

Back After Two Years

SPEAKER_00 0:29

about. So I'm gonna go over all those things. And I also just want to say if you're someone who has been here since the first episode of Hot Girl Pilates, I can't thank you enough. I'm still here for you, and I just appreciate you. And I hope that this episode gives some context and helps you to understand too that it's okay for your own life and your own workflow and your own creativity to ebb and flow as well. I want to start with why we decided to move from Los Angeles to New York. This is kind of where it all started. So I think this is a helpful place to jump back in here. The last two years I did have some personal issues and some business issues that one of them that I can't talk about at all, which is kind of frustrating. But the other

Harassment Changed How I Live Online

SPEAKER_00 1:30

one I can, even though I'm a little nervous to bring it up, but at the same time, maybe it will help someone else out there. So in late 2024, I had a person consistently harassing me through many avenues, just essentially stalking me and making my life feel really scary. I think the scariest part, besides just the constant barrage of harassment, was that this person, this man, had my home address. So that really shook my world. It changed the way that I show up online, I think forever. And while there's something kind of sad about letting go of how I used to show up online, I think it's actually normal and natural to evolve and to understand what parts of your life need to stay private for your own safety. And thankfully, this person, the situation is completely resolved. The Los Angeles district attorney did press charges and he pled guilty. So I haven't had an issue in a number of months from this person. So I'm feeling very good and positive about that. But that was probably the first thing that made me feel like I wasn't necessarily attached to Los Angeles and where we were living in the way that maybe I had imagined I was. Kyle and I got married in September and September of 2024. And of course, planning a wedding alongside running a business definitely made it harder to show up for things I do like this, my podcast and Instagram. I was certainly not showing up as much as I maybe had been in the past. And something happened on my honeymoon that was a catalyst for pretty much everything. And it seems strange, but it was acne. Okay. So leading up to my wedding, my skin was just going through it and I was pushing through. I didn't feel super bad about it. I did, you know, want to really understand how to do my makeup in a way that would allow me to still feel confident on my wedding day. So I practiced that a lot. I felt really good. I felt confident. And then

Accutane And A Surprise Positive Test

SPEAKER_00 4:23

this is gonna sound so this might sound pathetic, but it's okay. We were on our honeymoon. I was in the Maldives of all places. The most stunning, perfect place. Our wedding was incredible. It was went off so much smoother than I had imagined. It was amazing. So I'm in the Maldives and I post a couple of reels from my wedding. And why did I look through my messages? I should have known better. I had a message from someone on Facebook who said, Your skin looks like shit. And you know what? I have had a lot of mean comments, but that one really it really stung because I felt like I had done a good job of you know using makeup to make myself look better and to make my skin issues not seem as bad. But man, that comment that hurt, that stung. So when we got home, I decided to go on Accutane. This was a medication I had been avoiding for many years for, you know, reasons I think many people are scared to take it. It's extremely strong, and there's a lot of rules and restrictions when you're on a medication like that. But I had reached my limit. So I started taking Accutane, and one of the restrictions is you need to be on two forms of birth control, or you need to be completely abstinent from sex while you are on the medication because it has such detrimental impacts on a fetus and pregnancy. So because I had not been on hormonal birth control for 10 plus years, I was feeling just like there was no way I was gonna go back on a hormonal birth control. And I decided to abstain. So that was our method of birth control that my dermatologist allowed me to do. And I finished my round of Accutane sometime around when I went to Coachella with my friend Kat. So I remember that that was kind of the end of the journey. I felt so good. My skin, you know, was clear. It worked. And there's a very strict rule about how long you need to wait after completing Accutane for the active ingredient to leave your system before you can, you know, start having unprotected sex again because, or you know, even sex with just one form of birth control. So I was waiting for that. Me and Kyle, the countdown was on, right? I can't believe I'm sharing this online, but I the first time that we had sex after clearing the Accutane from my system, I got pregnant. And it was a little nerve-wracking just because of how scary that medication is on a pregnancy. But I was literally like one day over the recommended amount of time to wait. So that was probably the scariest part of my early pregnancy was worrying that, you know, even though we had waited the appropriate amount of time, that perhaps it, you know, it still was in my system. So that was a little bit scary, but we got through it. And, you know, my baby was perfectly healthy. So that was really encouraging. How did this lead me to moving to New York? So Kyle has been a little bit lost in Los Angeles for the past couple years because he was running a business that was based in LA and he closed his business. So he started to feel a little lost while he was still in the city. I also was running my business in Los Angeles, but I didn't need to. I could run it anywhere. I had this attachment to Los Angeles that had more to

Choosing New York And Building A Village

SPEAKER_00 8:26

do with knowing that all the best things in my life happened while I was living in Los Angeles. I met Kyle, I started my business, I made some lifelong friends. At the same time, there was some heavy stuff that had happened in LA for me. So I think I pushed a lot of that to the back of my mind. And I saw moving back to the East Coast as moving back to a lot of the darkness that I had was running away from when I moved to LA in the first place. So Kyle and I were a little bit at odds on where we wanted to live. But we turned that pregnancy test over, saw it was positive. I cried, I was so scared, and I fell to the floor. Kyle's on the floor with me. And one of the first things he says after all the shock of it settles, and we're looking at each other, we're holding each other, and he just says, We have to move back east. Something about his confidence and his determination, the way he said that, I felt a little bit differently about it for the first time. And I thought maybe it was something that we could do, maybe it was something that was the right choice. And when I look back, I can see that I wasn't necessarily in the mental, the best mental place in the last couple of years in Los Angeles, as maybe I had thought I was. I was pushing back against moving to New York so much. And I basically told everyone, like, it's just Kyle, it's not me, I don't want to move. But looking back in hindsight, I can see that I actually needed a new space. And I think having a baby and realizing that we didn't have the village that you know we were hoping to have in Los Angeles made it a lot easier to swallow moving, even though the thought of moving was just completely overwhelming. And we couldn't really decide officially to move until Kyle got permission from his job to work remotely from New York and stay on West Coast hours. We're waiting on that, y'all, for months. It wasn't until I was 33 weeks pregnant that we got confirmation we could move. So I feel like we moved when I was like 34 weeks pregnant. Dog, cat, Kyle, me super pregnant on the plane, moving with all our things, packing up a trailer, you know, moving into a house we had never visited that we just felt was right from online. And luckily, my mother-in-law was able to do a walkthrough of the house for us, and that made us feel a lot better about moving here. But we moved in February and experienced the coldest, most bitter winter storms I had ever experienced, even though I grew up on the East Coast. So that was kind of wild, a wild welcome. But I think almost right away coming to our new place, I realized this was the right decision. I felt really good about it. I feel like having a home and a yard, it just changed the way that I felt and really improved my mental state. So that was very much needed leading into giving birth. So that's how we ended up in New York, the very long story of it. And yeah, so that's how we ended up here. I wanted to cover my birth story and just share kind of how my birth went for anyone who is curious. And I also want to just acknowledge how triggering, emotional this could feel for many different people out there who have experienced loss, who have experienced a more complicated delivery, who are trying to get

Birth Story Context And Mental Prep

SPEAKER_00 12:42

pregnant. And I just want to acknowledge that and know that I'm I'm speaking about this from a place of such privilege. And that's something I'm aware of. So I just want to give that caveat before I talk about the birth story. My entire pregnancy was uncomplicated and smooth. I felt great during my pregnancy, which in some ways made me nervous because I had heard that if you had an easy pregnancy, you might have a hard time with postpartum depression. I also was very much aware that my mom had had postpartum depression with every single delivery, every single birth, and there's a genetic component to it. This is actually my life hack. But I went into giving birth and becoming a mom with extremely low expectations. People would ask me, you know, are you excited? I bet you're so excited. I bet you can't wait. And I just couldn't relate to that. I was in a place of just neutrality. That's what I would say. I didn't feel bad about it, but I wasn't jumping up and down excited. I was just feeling very neutral, of course, nervous about how the delivery was going to go as well. What kept me sane? Moving, staying moving, keeping up with walks, lifting weights. I filmed the muscle mommy program during my second and end of my third trimester or beginning of my third trimester. And that was one of the best things I ever did for myself. Oh my gosh, that got me through the stress of moving from one coast to the other. And it was just a way that I think I was able to manage pregnancy symptoms so much better. And I'm really happy that that program exists. I'm so proud of it. So that was one of the best things I did for myself while I was pregnant. And I also, well, I can't say for certain, I'm quite sure that it's a huge part of why I felt so good throughout my pregnancy. Now, leading up to her birth, I was still feeling great, but I hadn't, I was in no rush to get this baby out. I start to see a lot online of folks when they're like 38 weeks pregnant, they're like ready to get this baby out. That's not how I felt. I was like, take your time, sweet thing. When you're ready, I'm ready. I was in no rush to have this baby because I didn't know what the fuck I was doing when this baby got here. I was so nervous and I just thought, take your time, take your time, because I'm not ready yet. It was the early morning of her due date, around four in the morning, and for the first time I felt contractions. I was having Braxton Hicks, but they were not something I could feel. It was more so something I could see. So I would look down and I could see my stomach was morphing and contracting and like squeezing on one side. And if I touched it, it was really firm. So I knew I was having Braxton Hicks, but I was not having a real contraction.

Due Date Labor And Hospital Admission

SPEAKER_00 15:48

The best way I could describe it was like a period cramp. And I remember just kind of being like, hmm, maybe it's just something I ate. I don't know. I was a little bit questioning if it could really be. And I waited for maybe an hour before waking up Kyle and saying, I think I'm having contractions. And he starts timing them. He wakes up with me and they start getting really close together to the point where the little silly app where you can keep track of your contractions was like, go to the hospital. But I knew that wasn't quite right. You know, his first pregnancy, I just felt like I had more time. And I did. I was laboring that entire day waiting for these contractions to get stronger. In the middle of the day, they completely went away. I was going on walks and, you know, staying moving, but I I almost had no contractions the entire middle of the day. In the evening, they start picking up again, where Kyle and I decide to order some food. We got Chinese food and we watched a movie. And tell me why I chose to watch something very bad is going to happen. I think that's what it's called. If you've watched that movie on Netflix, you can imagine why that was an interesting choice when I'm experiencing early labor. Anyways, we do watch that movie and I'm able to, I'm still kind of in this like very neutral zone. So nothing was really affecting me one way or the other. I just was like, okay, when it's time, it's time. So Kyle keeps saying we should go. And I'm telling him, I want to wait. There's no way I'm walking into that hospital and they're telling me to go home. I am gonna make sure that I'm dilated enough to be admitted. Okay, because we have a dog, we needed to sort things out with him, and it was just really complex. So I was waiting until it was really time, and my contractions were really close. We finally did hit that mark of your first pregnancy. I gosh, I don't remember what it is. Five five five of how how frequent your contractions are and how long they last. 515. Oh my gosh, I don't remember at all. Anyway, we reached that point. I call the OB. That's what we're supposed to do is call first. They do not call me back. We're waiting, we're waiting. I call again, they do not call back. And I am experiencing contractions to the point where I'm in pain. We get in the car. Valentino's at daycare, he's at a boarding facility, and Frida has food for a couple days in this little automatic feeder. We're good to go. We've got got the hospital bags, we get in that car, and on the way to the hospital, the doctor calls and he can tell we're in the car, and he's like, Are you on your way? I'm like, Yes, and he goes, Good, I'll see you soon. So we walk into the hospital and they admit me right away. People kept asking me if I needed a wheelchair, which I don't know. Like at the entrance, the there was security who offered me one and the person at the front desk, and I was just I felt like I was feeling pretty good. So I don't know if they saw something I didn't see, but I was like, no, I'm good. It was kind of a long walk to labor and delivery in hindsight, but maybe I should have taken them up on that. It's okay. So we get in and they do a cervical check. This is the first cervical check I have. I didn't do one at my 38-week appointment. I just wanted to let it happen naturally, I guess, as much as possible and not get in my head. But they do a cervical check, I'm four centimeters dilated. I'm admitted, amazing. I'm naturally laboring for a while. I've got a little stool, I'm doing some moves, and they are like, Are you how what are you feeling about the epidural? What are you feeling? And I'm like, I'm thinking, yeah, I want to do one. And the doctor's like, I think that's a great idea. So we he gives me the epidural, and I the very instant it was injected into my back, I felt something like shoot down to my left foot. It was very weird. And I was like wondering if that was normal. The anesthesiologist assured me that it was, but it was still a little nerve-wracking. He did, he kept saying what a great epidural it was. He's like, You're gonna be thanking me. I got

Epidural Side Effects And Slow Dilation

SPEAKER_00 20:32

you. This was an amazing epidural, and I'm thinking, okay, like I didn't feel amazing. I actually was feeling incredibly shaky. My entire body soon started trembling like a leaf to a point where I mean it was just an unbelievable amount of uh trembles, shakes, tremors. And then I started to get itchy. Like my entire neck and chest was so itchy. It's like 11 p.m. at this point. Maybe no, we got there at 11, it was 1 a.m. And they tell us just to go to sleep. You're gonna have this baby in the morning, and I can't sleep because I'm so itchy. This angel nurse who I never saw again, she came in the night and then I never saw her again. Her shift must have changed. She brought me a little ice pack with a washcloth wrapped around it to use to itch myself because I was that itchy, and that saved me. So I was able to get some sleep. And at this point in the experience, once you are on an intervention, like an epidural, there's so many wires and needles and things you're hooked up to. Such a drag. That's my least favorite part was the wrist Ivy. Horrible. The catheter, though, I must say, amazing. I really like the catheter, especially because toward the end of my pregnancy. See, I was having such a hard time emptying my bladder. So the catheter was incredible. So we get through that first night. I wake up and I believe I'm still four centimeters dilated. And that was a little discouraging. But my doctor's feeling good, baby's really feeling great. And he just encourages me to continue like naturally letting labor occur. And at this point, because of the epidural, um, I believe my nurses they just didn't want me moving around too much. In hindsight, I wish I had advocated a little bit more for more movement because I think that would have helped my labor progress a little bit faster. I was just basically moving from one side to the other with a peanut ball in between my knees. And I was experiencing contractions, but I was dilating really slowly. I reached nine centimeters dilated around 7 p.m. And at this point, Kyle and I are shocked that it's taken all day. Like we thought we were gonna have this baby in the morning, and now it's 7 p.m. I'm nine centimeters dilated. Okay, we gotta be close. I continue to remain at nine centimeters dilated until 10 p.m., 11 p.m. A new nurse comes. Okay, her name is Kayla. My queen Kayla, an incredible nurse, and she is familiar with spinning babies, and I can tell that she and I look at each other and we both know we are gonna get this baby moving. I'm willing to move. She says, You're, you know, despite your epidural, you're able to move really well. Let's make sure we do as much as we can to get this baby in the right position. So she puts me in flying cowgirl. That position got this baby down. And it was probably the most painful contractions I had experienced, which was a good indicator of things moving forward in the right direction. But I was in a lot of pain at that point, and I had realized I was never pushing my epidural. I was not pushing that button. There's a consistent drip, but I needed a little bit more at that point because the pain was so bad that I was crying. And I don't think I've cried from pain, physical pain, since I was a child. So I'm pushing the button. It becomes Kyle's job to keep pushing the button and increasing the put the epidural for me. At this point, I am starting to really feel the urge to push. We did add Pitocin, and they did manually break my water earlier in this story. I forgot to add those two things. But I did have this thing, I think it was called an IUGR, an internal monitor that had that was placed at some point because my doctor was just wondering why I wasn't progressing faster. And that monitor was placed internal, horrible feeling. But he was able to see from that that I needed Pitocin. The contractions weren't strong enough. I don't know if it was from, you know, not moving enough during labor, from having the epidural, I'm not sure. First baby, a lot of

Spinning Babies Techniques And Finally Pushing

SPEAKER_00 25:09

things. So, um, anyways, Kayla has me moving around and I'm ready to push. Like I want to push this baby out and get some relief because pushing is such a relief when you go through as long of a labor as I did. So at this point, it's, you know, maybe about 11 p.m. We're wondering, is this baby coming today or tomorrow? Like we're making bets. But Kayla wanted that that baby to come tonight. And did she make sure that happened for me? What a queen. So if you get a nurse who's familiar with spinning babies, I just I couldn't encourage it enough. Not every single nurse does those techniques. So labor and delivery, it's good to know. She has me set up in a position to push. She's got Kyle holding one leg, she's holding the other. I'm learning how to push for the first time, and I am feeling discouraged as a fuck. Like I could not feel anything. I felt like I wasn't being productive, and I was expressing that. I was saying, I'm not doing a good job. And she was like, Yes, you are doing a great job. And that was really nice. And Kyle was encouraging me too. But she was like, Do you want me to grab a mirror? And I was like, Yes, I think that will really help me. So I'm looking in the mirror, and all I can think about is, Am I about to poop? Like it was getting in my head so much that I was about to watch myself poop for the first time in my life that I was having a little bit of a hard time focusing. I could see her head moving out a little bit and then coming back, moving out a little bit and coming back. And again, I was feeling discouraged because I didn't know if that was normal. But my nurse seemed really encouraged that things were going well. She took a hot towel and she pushed it against my bum, like my anus. And as soon as she did that, and I didn't have to look at my butt the entire time, I was able to be a lot more effective. So boom, we're in. Now I'm pushing. I kind of feel like something's happening. Her head stops retracting with every push, which was so encouraging. And I was like, wow, I can do this. Moments before I was thinking, I have tricked everyone in this hospital, including my husband, into thinking I can have a vaginal delivery, and I can't. I was feeling so like there's no way. But lo and behold, I that baby is crowding and it's happening. So the doctor finally comes in. He's there for just for the glory, you know, like they're only coming at the very end. He has me doing a couple more pushes, and he at this point I've probably been pushing for like an hour, and he is kind of reaching his fingers and like pushing my labia apart. And I hated that feeling so much. I was thinking to myself, Ruth, advocate for yourself and say to stop doing that because it's so uncomfortable. But it took me probably like 15 minutes to say that. And by the time I was like, I really don't like the feeling of your fingers pushing, and he was like, Oops, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop pushing. So I was basically done pushing when I finally advocated for myself. And it was time to stop pushing because she was, you know, that's the time where you can get a tear. And I stopped. I remember her head came out and I heard the sound, the most beautiful noise I had ever heard in my entire life. And then the rest of her body came out. They held her up, and I was

Meeting Daisy And The Meconium Scare

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just thinking, this baby is beautiful. She's perfect. I could not believe how perfect she was. They put her on my belly and I could feel something like pulling. And I realized it was my umbilical cord, which my doctor had told me was a little bit short. So it they couldn't put her very high on my chest. I delivered the placenta, honestly, no big deal. I don't remember it. I don't I didn't feel it, like absolutely no big deal at all. Kyle cut the cord. My doctor was, I was like, was she Sunny sign up? Was you know, how was she? And he was like, She was in the perfect position. Like this long 44 hours in labor, 24 of those in the hospital, was not her fault at all. I was like, I love that. Um, she was so patient and she stayed like so steady throughout the entire labor. She never decelerated, she never was stressed. So what a little bad bee already, right? And at some point when I first started pushing, I did have meconium, which means my baby took her first poop while still in the birth canal, which is a bit of a risk. So they have her on my stomach for only a short time, and Nikki is in the room at this point. I'm a little bit nervous, of course. And they take her and they start checking her, and I am just staring at her on the warmer. They tell Kyle that does he want to come meet her, and I was so envious. I wanted to be able to look at her closer, but you know, I knew they had to take care of her and make sure she was cleared. Thankful, thankfully, she was like that was super scary, but she was all good. She needed to have some suction, but they used the ball syringe and cleared her airways, made sure there was no meconium. She was good to go. They put her back on my chest. I was in heaven. It was the best feeling. It just was the best feeling. I had sunglasses on this whole time, by the way, because the hospital lights were really bright, especially when Nikki and the doctor came in. It was like I'm on stage and I need my shades. So I have my sunglasses on, and I'm thinking, like, maybe I should take them off so she can actually see me. So I take them off, and everyone's commenting how much hair she has. She has a great head of hair, so much, it's so long, and they're doing all of her little procedures, and she's just amazing. It was the greatest feeling ever. I can't even put into words how bright it felt to have her on the outside, how beautiful it was to hold her, and just how in awe of her I was, and also how much closer it brought me and my husband. That was probably one of the most surprising parts about giving birth. I was ready to fully hate my husband, only because that's what I had seen online, but I didn't feel that way at all. And, you know, we figured it out together. I was really nervous about breastfeeding. And the first time I tried the lact, the particular lactation consultant I had, I don't think she was bad at her job by any means, but I think she was a little harsher than I needed someone to be at that point. I was a little bit too delicate to have someone kind of being a little bit harsh with me. Um, she was kind of just drilling me with a lot of questions, and I it it was it was a little hard. So when she left the room, I started bawling. I was crying so much. I was breaking down. How am I gonna feed my baby? And some other nurses were able to really help me and guide me through it, and that was really encouraging. I personally have a lot of sensitivity, or not even sensitivity, but just I get squeamish around touching my own nipples. I was really worried that that was gonna make breastfeeding just not possible for me. And my goal was to exclusively breastfeed. I didn't want to pump, and I didn't want to use formula if I didn't have to, even though if you pump or use formula, you're amazing. Those things are really challenging too. So thankfully, she was such she was so good at getting on that boob and doing what she needed to do. So I was able to just exclusively breastfeed her. She was able to lose the right amount of weight. Where when we left the hospital, they're like, you're good to go, just keep breastfeeding, which was amazing. So that's the birth story of how Daisy came to be. And it was just the very best day of my entire life. I wanted to chat about postpartum exercise. The very first ever issued guidelines of postpartum exercise were in 2003, and they were not well supported with valuable studies or high certainty studies. So they didn't actually give us a solid guideline with we're still missing a ton of data on the postpartum period,

Postpartum Exercise Guidelines Made Simple

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but we had a little bit more in 2025, which is kind of wild to think it took that long to get some exercise guidelines for postpartum. Wow. And I want to give you kind of my spark notes in case you don't want to read the study, but if you do want to sit down and read the study, you can find it. I believe might be the full title. But if you just search Canadian Guidelines Postpartum, they will come up for you. I think what I found to be the most interesting is that the recommendation to spend five days in bed, five days on the bed, five days around the bed is not supported by the latest data on what's the best, especially for your mental health. I don't think that the wisdom of five that five-day rule is lost on me. I believe that that rule made a lot more sense when postpartum mothers had a community around them and support. Um, right now that's just not the reality for a lot of us. So the studies and the evidence actually points to sedentary behavior leading to higher incidence of postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. It's also worth mentioning that social support and sleep play a huge role in feeling better postpartum. So postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and how quickly you're feeling able to get back into gentle movement is highly, highly dependent on those two factors. And those are so independent and unique for every single person. And what a privilege it is to be able to feel good after pregnancy, it's interesting. I think a lot of it comes down to your support and if you're able to have time off of work, and that's just and whether you're breastfeeding or not, those things impacting your sleep, there's so much at play here that I just want to acknowledge. So if you're a postpartum mom here and you're beating yourself up for not getting back into movement as early as these guidelines suggest, you're doing amazing. And I just want to encourage you to know that that's it's completely okay. If you're newly postpartum, you're feeling like you are, you have social support, you're getting some sleep, then the guideline is to start with light movement as soon as possible. Light walking, daily activities around your home, just normal activities that you would do on a day-to-day basis are encouraged. I also want to mention a few contraindications that would make you want to get a doctor's clearance before you begin approaching moderate to vigorous exercise. And those are severe abdominal pain, vaginal bleeding not associated with either Lokia or the men or your own period. And if your bleeding is more intense after moderate to vigorous exercise, and that's like brisk walking, then it's time to slow down. That's a good indicator. And those things are obviously impacted by what degree tear you have. I had a first degree tear, which is most superficial of just the skin, doesn't involve the muscle. But if you have a more severe tear, those things can take longer to heal. And those are contraindications for getting back into movement right away. That doesn't mean that uh you shouldn't do any movement at all, and still daily, the normal daily activities is still recommended from a standpoint of your mental health. Some other things that are you're going to likely see improvement in if you follow doing some light exercise. And the recommendation is 120 minutes of movement per week spread over four days, is not just the mental benefits. We've been over that, but your pelvic floor health is going to have massive benefit as well, especially for urinary incontinence. You have a reduction in lower back pain and pelvic girdle pain, and just an overall reduction in the severity of those symptoms. There's a reduction in fatigue when you follow this, and there's also cardiometabolic health elements associated with this, and that has to do with your BMI and your weight. And I don't like to get into that too much, but it's worth mentioning. There's also a large section in this guideline recommending doing pelvic, gentle pelvic floor muscle training. So if you're familiar with a pelvic floor physical therapist, amazing. If not, it's really easy to do these basic exercises. I'm going to create a video on RPS very soon with some of those basic exercises you can start doing. And you start doing them on your back, it's super low, it's very accessible. And a lot of it has to do with breathing, coordinating your breath, and just kind of being in your body and getting your mind into your body. Now, I had a question from someone on how do you fit movement into your daily life when you're a mom and the demands are just immense, right? You may only have five minutes here and there to get something done. And another thing that this studies that this guideline really stresses is how beneficial it is just doing a little bit. So I just want you to feel encouraged that even just a little bit of movement is extraordinarily beneficial. I like to do some movement when my baby is asleep, and whether that's in her crib or while baby wearing her, I love to walk while baby wearing her. I really encourage that. If it's something that feels good to you to do, you can put your baby in the stroller and walk if you have access to that. Amazing. If you don't, I really think having a walking pad is a great asset if you don't have safe places to walk. And if you are really careful, you can wear your baby on the walking pad. That's really up to you if you feel safe enough doing it. I have a standing desk above a walking pad where I can do work. So my hands are actually helping provide some balance for me while walking with her. And I find it to be just a really easy way to get some movement in while you know having a baby. Another question that came up on Instagram was postpartum hair care. And can I just tell you my hair? I don't know if I have any tips for this. My hair texture changed when I got pregnant. It was probably the first symptom I would have noticed because my hair started growing out from the root with a bend in it, and it has never done that before. Now I know that's like the first sign of pregnancy. So hair

Hair Changes And Minimal Mom Life

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texture changes, it's all normal. I will say this. I was convinced that I would not be able to keep up with my self-care routines while having a baby, and that's just not true. I've been able to, thankfully. She, what I do is I'll just lay her in a safe place on the floor of the bathroom and I will get what I need to done, or I will hand her off to Kyle. And I I've been pleasantly surprised how I'm able to still keep up with my hair care routine. I do use K18 um once in a while to help. And I also condition my hair to detangle it before I shampoo. I shampoo twice and then I do conditioner again. And that helps. That helps me. Maybe it will help you too. Um, I also do did start a Shop My account. It's like an affiliate link page, and I have all my hair care favorites there. If you want to check it out, if you want to use those links, they do support me. You don't have to. Um, but just throwing that out there too. I want to go through my motherhood hot takes, let's call them. This is the very last thing I'm gonna talk about on this podcast. But I the first thing I want to say is that if you're not careful consuming content online, much of the moms and what you're gonna see is actually privilege and wealth. And those things can completely change your postpartum experience so much. So I just think it's helpful to follow moms and um see content that isn't so draped in like privilege and wealth. What do I mean by this? I mean, there's tons of these. You probably are familiar with the all the baby carriers you can get. There's like a $400, $500 baby carrier that so many people have. And listen, I know it's amazing, but you don't need it. If you can get a wrap like this, I actually prefer it so, so much. Rocking chairs. I balled out of my rocking chair, and it was amazing when I was pregnant, especially in the third trimester. And it's still useful, don't get me wrong, but an exercise ball is way more accessible and works better for soothing my baby. So wrapping my baby up, bouncing on the exercise ball, that is all I need. I definitely did not need that rocking chair. And I just want to encourage you to know you don't need there's so many things you don't need. Um one of my hot takes though is a lot of people will tell you don't get too many newborn size things. And that is true, and you can always get more, but I just want to say my baby is coming up to seven weeks, and she's still in newborn clothes, uh, and she can still fit into newborn diapers. So she's a normal, healthy weight, she's almost nine pounds, but babies wear their weight differently. And yeah, I just want to say that like we have so many size one diapers that we haven't even been able to use. So just take that into account. And just yeah, make sure you're not comparing yourself to moms on social media who have unlimited funds and help with their babies, like it can look so different from for you, and that's so okay. It's okay not to have every single doohickey and thing. And I actually really prefer a minimalistic approach to motherhood. If that resonates with you, I just want you to know it's okay. You can be you can be minimal and you can have a great experience. My other motherhood hot take, this has to do with approaching birth and motherhood with a neutral mindset, was a life hack for me. So, what do I mean by that? I went into pregnancy thinking it was going to be a lot harder and worse than it was. And I think that just set me up for feeling pleasantly surprised when it wasn't as hard or as painful or difficult as I thought it was going to be. And it also encouraged me to take a lot of action as far as staying moving because I knew that would help me. And that set me up for a pretty smooth and easy pregnancy. I also went into birth with no illusions that, you know, there's a possibility that me or my baby do not walk out of that hospital. And, you know, that it was a reality that's was in my mind. For me, that was helpful because it just gave me a lot of perspective. I don't think it's something that you need to dwell on or or fear so intensely. And I want to be really uh careful with how I say this, but I just think having a neutral or even a low expectation of motherhood and birth can really set you up for a smooth, smooth experience where you're not feeling disappointment and where you don't have this giant crash, you're already gonna have a crash because of the hormones. But because I wasn't expecting, I wasn't even expecting to feel immediately bonded to my baby when they handed me to her, be her to me, because that is completely normal too. I think that sets us up for a more realistic experience of motherhood. And I will also say, like, I thought the newborn stage was going to be way, way harder than it was. And thank goodness it's been smooth for us. Of course, it's a challenging. I just think I'm aware of how much harder it could be, and that makes a big difference for me and my mental health. So I don't know if that one makes sense, but that's another hot take I have. You do not have to pump. I wanted to breastfeed my baby and I did not want to pump. I I don't know why. I just I think learning another thing and having more stuff to clean and sanitize, and it's just not something I wanted to do. And thankfully, it's not something I have to do. So I want you to know that too. If you're someone who wants to breastfeed, it is possible you can do it without pumping. I do not find I've heard this saying a lot that the days are long, but the years are short. The days are short, bitch. Like my days fly by. I cannot believe how quickly the day is gone. Um, and yeah, that's that just wasn't my experience. I also want to just mention I had a really um real experience of sundown scaries. I had a very real experience of postpartum anxiety symptoms. I just want to address that too. It has not been all sunshine and rainbows, um, but it's just been so much more beautiful and natural than I imagined it could be. So I just want to add that. I believe that baby wipes, everyone should have baby wipes, whether you have a baby or not. How handy are these? Like we had ribs the other night, and I was like, grab the baby wipes. When I sit down to do my makeup, I have the baby wipes next to me so I can quickly clean up some anything. I mean, baby wipes are great. Just want to say that. I also want to mention just how amazing it is to baby wear. I think if I had known how much I would love wearing my baby and especially wrapping my baby, and if you're someone who enjoys folding, you enjoy like origami type of play and experience, you might really enjoy wrapping your baby. And if you're someone who prefers the backpack style carriers, then I think they're called soft structured carriers. Those are great too. Um, I really love wrapping, and I just feel like it has helped my mental health so much. Having her close to me is really soothing for her. She's a lot less fussy when she's on me, and I feel calm when she's on me, and I can get so much done. I can breastfeed her while she's in here. I can do computer work, I can walk, I can do work around the house. So I just think baby wearing is amazing. If I had known, I probably wouldn't have gotten the bassinet attachment for my stroller. It was $150, and every day I'm like, I shouldn't have gotten that. So, anyways, I just want to throw that out there. The baby wearing is so much fun, and you might not want to invest in a bassinet if you were thinking about that attachment for your stroller. It was handy. I've used it a handful of times, and you know, I probably will use it in the future, but if I had it my way, I would be wearing her all the time. I'd be wearing her to sleep, I'd be wearing her all the time. I just love it. I also want to talk about sharing my baby's face on social media and kind of where I'm at with that because I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to, and it, you know, circling back to kind of the negative comments that I've received in the past and some of the harassment. It just was something that I wasn't sure if I wanted to do, and ultimately I decided not to share her face, like you know, up close and personal on my social media. Um, I

Baby Privacy And Decentering Men

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did decide to share her face in my community, my RPS community insider app, which is a private uh space, and that felt really good and safe to share her there. And you know, I'm sharing her a little bit here, which I feel safe and good about, but um, that's kind of my thoughts on it. I think it's really up to the mother. There's no right or wrong. What feels best to you is, you know, what feel what's best to you. Lastly, I shared the other day when I went to my postpartum checkup that I was leaving my baby with my husband, and you know, it's his baby too. And I was saying that she gave him a really hard time the last time I left them to their own devices. And maybe she would do the same this time, but I'm raising her to de-center men so she can give them hell if she wants to. Um, and I had someone ask me more about my thoughts on decentering men, so I wanted to just share that really quickly because this is an ethos that I really want to um make sure I raise my daughter with, and it's not the way that I was raised. In fact, I feel like I was almost raised the opposite. So, and I and I think it had a detrimental effect on me. And I just want to make sure that my little girl knows that seeking the validation of men and you know, even consuming the content of men, taking the words and advice of men, and you know, supporting the businesses of men, supporting the art of men, all those things um do not have to be at the center of her world. And she, her own desires and what she wants to do is ultimately what is most important. And I also want to really encourage her to consume the content, the art, the work of women, and to really understand the value of women and her female relationships. I cannot see enough um just how important I think that is, just how beneficial for me it has been changing, you know. I think when I was a teenager and coming from a background that was pretty neglectful, any attention seemed like good attention. And because I was raised uh by a woman who did center men, I uh saw attention from men as you know, probably the highest currency. And I just what a bad what a bad experience, how many bad experiences that led me down. And I just hope that I can help my daughter de-center men and just really embrace the power, the beauty, the creativity of the women in this world and of her own desires, her own motivations. And I just also want to mention really quickly, this has nothing to do with hating men. Um, it just has to do with not having them be at the center of everything and being the main motivator of all things as a woman. It's and it's hard to it, it sounds simple, but because there's so many things in our society that are subtly letting us know that actually men have the greatest authority and men are at the center, and men are to be more trusted, you have to actively work against that. So I'll be raising my daughter to de-center men, and you know, if I have more advice on that in the future, she gets older, I'd be more than happy to share. And all right, y'all, that's it for today. I do want to mention really quickly that if you want to join my membership community, you can have a seven-day free trial. I have a brand new app that launched last year, and it's incredible. The whole format of my website and the app now is so much better. It's much improved. I would love for you to give it a try. I would love for you to jump into the community and experience it. I'm gonna be starting a new program soon, and I have the Muscle Mommy

Membership Free Trial And Goodbye

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program there. If you're currently pregnant or if you just want to work on weight training, it's great for everyone. So I just wanted to mention that. A little plug. I really appreciate y'all. Thank you so much for being here, and I cannot wait to talk to you in the next.